So there's this guy I've been talking to recently. Nothing serious, mind you. I'm not sure you can quite say we're friends yet, though I'm certainly hoping that things are headed in that direction. I certainly enjoy the conversations we have. And I'd be lying if I denied that I'd be curious to explore the possibility of moving beyond friendship someday.
A while back, I found out through conversation that he had a couple of kids. Now, there was a time where such a discovery would've caused me to immediately move this guy into the "friends only" category for good. After all, relationships where one person already has kids can get complicated. And years ago, I wouldn't have been interested in dealing with those complications. And besides, I would've felt that kids would interfere in the relationship-building. Or to put it more bluntly, I was selfish and wouldn't have wanted to have the other guy dividing his time between his kids and me like that.
Things have changed since then, it would appear. Now, I hear that a guy has kids and I suddenly become more interested. Oh sure, I still realize that all those complications I used to think about still exist. And I still think about them. But they're not deal-breakers in my mind anymore.
But more importantly, I think it's a case that now when I look at a guy who has kids -- and more importantly, is active in their lives -- I see a guy who understands commitment and devotion. I see a guy who believes in those things. And that's an incredibly attractive quality.
Also, what they say about having kids changing you is true. Parents -- or at least decent parents -- tend to be more mature and stable. Heck, they have to develop these qualities to a considerable degree to raise their kids. And again, that's just an attractive quality to me.
And let's face it, those are also qualities that can really benefit a relationship. So when I now see kids in the picture, I realize that it means there's good reason to believe that there's an increased chance of a relationship working out. So I find that rather positive.
Of course, there's also the fact that I like kids anyway. I think they're great and I love talking to them and even encouraging them. And I have to admit that these days, the idea of having kids around is somewhat appealing. It's certainly an alternative to trying to have or adopt my own!
I don't really know if my friend and I will ever get together romantically. At this point, I'm not counting on it. And even if it does ever happen, I get the impression it's a long ways off. And it's not like I'm going to start looking only at guys with kids when it comes to dating options. But my change in attitude on the topic is both interesting to note and welcome.
